The Last Update!

Thoughts on Finishing the Army

I hold no regrets.

I do not regret my decision of joining the army, nor the decision to do combat and not even the decision to sign on an additional year of service to serve in the Palchan, the elite demolition and combat engineering company of the Nachal brigade.

            Very few people can say at a young age that they set themselves an overarching goal, devoted themselves to it and then achieved and surpassed their goal. After spending a year abroad here between high school and college in 2008, I told myself that one day I would make aliyah to Israel and join the army like every other Israeli. I didn’t lose sight of that goal when I was in college. Over the past three years I was able to immigrate to my homeland, learn the language, build myself mentally and physically, and as cliché as it sounds, defend my people and our independence. I served in an elite unit in the army, made incredibly close bonds with my army buddies who are now my brothers, and somewhere along the path turned into an Israeli. I could not have wished for a better realization of my dream.

I honestly hold no regrets. Joining the army was easily the best decision I ever made.

           

I appreciate all the lessons I learnt in the army.

I am not referring to the material learnt in the army, though that was interesting in of itself. I mean that the army is a place where you delve into yourself and learn what you are made of. What are your limits, how you interact with others, how you function under stress, and do you back up your words with actions? The army is the place where these questions are answered, sometimes unmercifully.

Another lesson that the army has taught me is that happiness is only bought with pain. Success is only reached through failure. The more you suffer and sacrifice for something, the more you own and love it. There is a highway, highway 77, which runs from the Poriya medical center on the Sea of Galilee west towards the ancient Jewish village of Tsippori and the modern highway junction called Tzomet HaMobil. We had a full week of solo navigation from that medical center to the junction. No help, just being plopped down in the middle of nowhere and being told to navigate to certain points within time limits. No help except for the starlight, moonlight, and memorizing the route you learnt on the map during the day. I loved it. Walking and tripping over boulders, getting caught on barbed wire fences enclosing cow pens, slipping in mud and almost being charged by a wild boar wasn’t a pleasure stroll but whenever I pass by that area, an unbidden smile plays about my face as I reminisce of memories of a challenging week successfully completed.

The greatest lesson learnt, though perhaps the most obvious, is the importance of the soldiers around you. I will be forever grateful for having the opportunity to be with my tzevet (team). It is one thing to read of the bonds formed by soldiers through the shared experiences of grueling training and long deployments and quite another thing to experience it yourself. The average combat soldier’s training takes eight months. He or she will learn how to shoot, take cover, fight in concert with his/her group and specialize on a certain weapon or army vehicle. My training took a year and two months. In addition to learning what every combat soldier learns, we take a two month engineering and demolition course, learn navigation, anti-terror shooting, fighting in shrubbery, urban warfare and more.

For that entire period you are together with your team, tzevet, and spend every waking hour with the same group. The longer training enables, enforces and ensures that you form unbelievably close bonds with these guys. Special forces in my opinion are special not because they are stronger or smarter or quicker than the other guys. We are special because we struggled and cursed and succeeded over a longer period of more intense training.

The condescending cliché of you can’t explain the army to someone who has not experienced it is unfortunately true. Experiencing the crucible of the army with the same group of soldiers for three years forces the development of incredibly deep and formative bonds between us. When we tell each other “I love you bro”, we actually mean it. If the only thing I took away from the army were the friendships I formed with these guys, it would have been worth it.

My Zionism is as strong as ever.

As opposed to many blogs from former lone soldiers would have had me believe, I am still idealistic, unjaded, and a diehard Zionist- perhaps more so than ever. After three and a half years as an Israeli citizen, I have taken off the rose-tinted glasses. I could write on and on about the myriad problems that Israel contains: the never-ending conflict, religious intolerance, Haredim not drafting, the poor school system, the cronyism and corruption, bureaucracy, low salaries, horrifying death toll from car accidents, and so and so forth. I could fill pages about the maddening and illogical way the army is managed and the frustrations a lowly impotent foot soldier feels navigating this cold unfeeling system.

And yet.

And yet after 68 years, Israel is here. I moved here to be part of a Jewish experiment of creating and maintaining sovereignty for the first time in over two thousand years in our ancestral homeland. That motivation still burns strong in me especially when I consider our country today. The country is strong, the people are happy, the economy is booming, unemployment is low, and despite all the challenges Israel is forging ahead. There is a vibrancy and depth here that makes this place the best place for a Jew to live hands down. There is a purpose and meaning that one finds here that I miss when I am in America. I don’t downplay the problems that Israel faces, but I would rather help to solve them here in whatever way I can than to sit on the sidelines.

Cutting the army ID card!

 The unit's slogan: "Go before them like a fire"

  

My tzevet upon beginning our final exercise in our service.

Yitzhar

As I wrote in the last post, my last deployment was in the West Bank. We were responsible for guarding the settlement of Yitzhar. Yitzhar is the northern West Bank, Samaria, near Nablus (Shechem) and it is surrounded by Arab villages from all directions. Its residents- practically all are religious- are known for their radically right-wing views. They do not believe in a fence. The vast majority of the settlement’s population is law abiding, however, there is a small kernel of people who take the law into their own hands. These are the people who chop down Palestinian olive trees when they feel that Israel has betrayed them and in some cases refuse to draft to the army.

I had mixed feelings about the deployment. In terms of ease it was a great deployment. Patrols and very small amounts of guard duty were the norm, the food was fairly good, the views were stunning, the base was wonderful and we had many interesting arrests and operations in and around Nablus. Those arrests were satisfying because I knew I was acting to prevent terror and crime. On the other hand, as I mentioned previously, I didn’t love that I was basically an over-glorified policeman there, whose main purpose was to make sure that the Jewish residents and Arab villagers were not at each other’s throats. Our job is to defend the country and it was hard to have that sense of purpose there in Yitzhar. Compounding the problem was the fact that I had hit a mental wall in my last year. I was mentally exhausted from it all and I felt that I had given enough to the army and yet I was still stuck in the army grind.

Luckily for me, I was only on this deployment for half the normal time due to my being in course Nativ and visiting home. Those two things saved me mentally and left me refreshed for when I came back. Another redeeming factor of this last deployment was that our tzevet was back to full strength. All the guys were in command positions or support staff came back in the last two months and we were all together again for the first time since our draft. It was just a ton of fun to be with the guys and have all the jokes and comradery. After I got back from my trip to the States, the time flew by and I have now reached what is called chapshash. It is a three week period before the official discharge date where you are out of the army but still technically considered a soldier. It is basically given to combat soldiers as a gesture and a way for us to slowly acclimate back to civilian life.

Next post I will sum up my thoughts about the army and the crazy experience of the past three years.

Some pictures of army life within the deployment:

Shana Tovah!!

I would like to apologize to those who depend on this blog to keep up with me. I have been incredibly lax with updating this blog. I apologize for not putting the effort into this blog that it required.

I would like to update everyone. It is now October 2nd. In less than a month I am done with the army. I have so much to update everyone about that I do not know where to start.

In terms of time: In May-June, I was in Course Nativ. It an army run course that teaches soldiers about Judaism and Zionism for seven weeks. It is meant for halachically non-Jewish soldiers that would potentially be interested in conversion. After this course, they can continue on to seminars where they decide to convert or not. Being Jewish, I was eligible for the course since I am considered a new immigrant to Israel. It was a wonderful time. I was in Jerusalem with great new friends, got a two month break from patrols and guard duties etc, and learnt a lot. I think I learnt more from conversations with my fellow soldiers than from my teachers. I had one or two teachers who were simply wonderful and engaging. All in all, I had a good time there.

After Nativ, I took my final month vacation that lone soldiers get to visit back home in America for July-August. I took a certificate test that will let me work in my mother's field of work.

Since then, I have been back in Israel and in the army. We finished our last deployment in the West Bank and now is the time period of the chagim. Once I am finished with the holidays, I am done.

I promise to write a longer essay about what I have done the past four months and about my feelings as I get out of the army and finish up three years of an singular, crazy, exhilarating experience.

May we all be inscribed in the book of life and have only health, happiness, and good things.

Shana Tovah

The End Approaches Ever So Slowly

Hey guys,
It has been awhile.
I finished the deployment up in the Golan. It was such a great period. Thank G-d everything was very quiet and we mainly just hung out without having to deal with any action. Boredom is a good sign if you are a solider.

We are now in "imun", a three month period of refresher training. There have been a lot of changes. We have a new officer. He was actually our commander in basic training and has returned now as an officer. He is great but there is definitely an adjustment period. Also, the makeup of the company has now changed. Now each tzevet that finishes training is absorbed into existing tzevets. This means that my group of guys now has five additional arrivals from August. The tzevet has not gelled together at all because we have been together for two years and four months and the new guys don't get the inside jokes or make-up of the personalities in the tzevet. We'll see how things go.

In terms of practical things that are upcoming: I get off a full week when my parents come for Passover and then G-d willing that course Nativ that I have been dreaming of. A month of half of courses on Judaism and Zionism and of course a relaxed atmosphere!

In terms of my mental state, as I mentioned in the last post. Sometimes, I wont lie, it is very hard for me. I am mentally exhausted of the entire army framework and I just dont have the strength to deal with all of the b.s of the army. It isn't easy when your mind has decided that you have finished with the army and the army hasn't finished with you! At the end of the day, I have no regrets and I will do what it takes to finish my service because that is what I demand of myself. I may be tired, but I know why I am here and what I came to do. That is enough to push me along.

Happy Purim!!

Upcoming Changes

Hey guys.
This deployment has been really great. Thank G-d, the border has been mainly quiet and I have enjoyed hanging out with the guys, reading lots of books, working out and enjoying the incredible beauty of the Golan Heights.

I won't lie, sometimes, I got army depressed as the long boring days slipped into a routine. Sometimes I felt that I have had enough and its time to get out of here; all of my friends are getting married and working and here I am stuck in a rut. But most days I am glad that I have the ability to wear my uniform with pride, doing what I know is right and what is needed.

Soon, G-d willing, I will start three months of training. Afterwards will be my last deployment. I am approaching the home stretch. The years have turned into months and I won't lie by saying that I am looking forward eagerly to civilian life.

Nate